Rays Of Hope
"Lindsey..Time to get up." Taylor slammed through the door.
"But it's to early" she groaned, as she turned over.
"You have exactly 15 minutes to get ready before we leave."
She sat up in bed, and yawned.
"Leave to go to where?" she asked sleepily
"Back home to Tulsa" he said calmly as he sat on the edge of her bed.
"15 minutes didn't you wake me earlier?"
He began to smooth out the sheets with the palm of his hand, "I tried.. I called you and you answered, but you must have went back to sleep." he smirked and looked up at her.
She watched, intensitly,as his hand smoothed the cover, gliding over the bumps and ruffled areas. He stopped abruptly, and she was sent sailing back into reality.
She pushed the stiff sheets over to the side, and proceeded to make her way to the bathroom. Taylor watched her, his eyes followed every swift movement that she conceived. The sound of the door shutting borne a flinch, from only him.
He sat in silence once again, with only the faint sonant of the shower running. This silence was warm, and comforting like the sun after a thunderstorm. Something natural, that needs no invitation. He moved from his position on the bed to the window. He parted the curtains and peered out onto the city. He looked down at the passers-by. So lonely. So afraid. He detested New York City, and everything that had to do with the city. Sure, he said many a times, "I love New York", but don't get wrapped up into what is being said and what is not, as to what is thought. It was a lie. His life was an intricate web of lies, one being weaved every second of every day. Every time he denied his feelings; his heart. Every time he said no when, in truth, he wanted the opposite. Every time he lied to spare; being spared. He looked across the horizon and up into the sky that belonged to the distance. The clouds shifted, parting for a moment. A slice of sun shivered down apound the hard city, giving rays of hope, that if given enough love, just might give hope to the downcast and the lost souls.
"I tried to hurry. I hope I don't run you guys too late." She spoke somberly.
"I doubt you would...But Zac's a different story." Taylor laughed trying to lighten up the atmosphere that had molded around the two.
Lindsey grabbed some tearaway pants from her suit case and a long sleeve shirt that said Oklahoma State Champs, and slipped into the bathroom once again.
"For once, I would like to be honest with myself, totally honest." Taylor thought.
Lindsey came out of the bathroom, "What were you saying?" she asked as she grabbed her black cap and positioned it on her head. She figured that not even makeup could make the dark circles that consumed her eyes disappear.
"Nothing. I was just thinking aloud."
"Well.... I guess....we kinda.." Taylor rambled.
"Leave." She finished for him.
She picked up her suite case. She winced in pain at the weight pulled on her wrists. She bit her lip. This was something she would have to do. Pain felt remarkably comforting to her. Knowing that she could feel. She had shed the shroud of numbness now. Something that had haunted her.
Taylor looked at Lindsey. She was a sad sort. To proud to admit it though. She had resisted all help from him. He wanted to though. He wanted to make everything all right. But he knew he could not. She wouldn't let him. It was her battle not his. But he wanted to aid in her internal contention.
Taylor looked one last time around the deserted room. It held to much pain for one person to bare. But he was not alone. Many peopled shared it. But not as deeply as he. He grabbed the door knob, and closed the door on this place in his mind. This would never surface with him, and if it tried to come and breathe air, it would not sustain his actions. He was the protector now of this secret. It would more then likely not be shared. And if so with only a few.